Welcome to our last newsletter for 2019! (Yes, I know it's now 2020, but cut a harassed editor some slack as I've been poorly sick over Xmas and New Year, so I reserve the right to whine a lot and snark...)

The monthly newsletter started a year ago, born out of the realisation that the club has a hugely loyal membership but that we weren't adequately communicating with you all due to the logistical difficulties of paper newsletters, which are hugely time inefficient and leave an even more harassed editor with a guilt thing of chasing for articles, getting a couple in and eventually putting out a paper one that's vastly out of date and just gathers dust on a shelf. It also costs a load in postage. Yes, some people had opted to receive them electronically, but it was still problematic, and with the best will in the world, just wasn't happening, and it was something else that Stu didn't need to worry about, but we're flexible, so if he has time to do a traditional style newsletter with longer articles, then that can happen too. We're nothing if not flexible. And we faff a lot, but that's another story.

So it was the start of the centenary year and we knew we needed to Do Something Different. (Bear with me on the random capitalisation, I feel in a capitalising mood.) I like writing and didn't deploy a brick fast enough when the idea of using MailChimp came up in a Lloyd Fund meeting, so the job fell to Muggins. We said we'd run it for a year and see what happened, so that's what we've done. What's happened is that you all seem to like it! I get a regular stream of compliments each month, which is great for the Editorial Ego, and people are now sending in unsolicited articles, photos etc, and no one has subscribed themselves from the list. (Please don't feel the need to muck up my stats by unsubbing just for the hell of it as that would not be Playing Like a Nice Puppy.

It's normally the lot of a newsletter editor to write half the damn thing themselves, but that's not happening either. It turns out that our membership includes a load of people who like writing and who are really good at it and I'm having to do almost no editing at all, even though lovely people send me things I've asked for with the helpful words, please feel free to edit (thanks, Dick!). I does cost me a day a month to put this together, but actually, I'm really enjoying it too, so the answer to will this continue is "Hell, yes!"

I haven't had chance to check the full stats but over 100 people per issue open this fully and come back several times. Not everything in each issue will appeal to everyone, but that's OK, I'm sure everyone is adult enough to scroll past things that don't interest them. but as email lists are now really rubbish to use and administrate (Andrew and Graham will explain why in detail if asked!), MailChimp is now effectively our main means of communicating info. The email list is still available for use by everyone, but it's random who it reaches and isn't a good way to get messages out. We will develop a full comms strategy when we get to it, but for now, keep reading (yes, Adrian, that means you too!), keep sending me stuff, and YAY CAVING!

I always aim to get the student stuff up first and to advertise events early on, other stuff will come later. There is method to my occasional madness, honestly.

So if you have anything for future newsletters, please let me know.  And don't forget to send us some Memories for the 100 Memories project or I'll have to start nagging people, and I'm damned irritating when I nag.

Back issues of this newsletter can be found here.
Linda Wilson
Editor and Chief Snark

 
PS If you have read to the end of this editorial then please feel free to be the first to claim a Random Prize! I promise to post something vaguely useful anywhere in the world. Or I can give it to you in the pub.

POST EXAMS MENDIP WEEKEND - 24th - 26th JANUARY 2020



Graphic by Henry. Warning, may contain actual images of actual  stuff, or may not. May also contain peanuts.

As those of you who open your MailChimp will know, Henry has recently sacked himself as secretary, but the heavy mob went and and persuaded him that knowing one end of a calendar from another has never been a requirement for an Hon, Sec. His comms are reproduced below for the sake of piss-taking and general amusement, with some links added for bookings!

1)  Mendip Weekend (End of Exams!)

Hello everyone,
 
Our first caving weekend of the new year will be an end of exams celebration caving weekend at our hut out in Burrington Coombe (Mendip!). We’ll be going from Friday 25th-Sunday 27th January. We’ll meet on the Friday evening to drive out and have much caving and the like.

If you would like to come on the weekend, then please click ‘going’ on the Facebook event on the UBSS group, or failing that just send me an email. (This helps with catering and general organisation!)
 
Hope to see lots of you there, the caving ‘freshers handbook’ is on the SU website on our page, or alternatively it’s on the Facebook group. However if you have any questions at all then just drop me a message!
 
See you there
Much love
Henry


2)   Mendip weekend dates(whoops)

Friday 25th Jan does not exist. Nor does Sunday 27th Jan. For this reason we have decided to go from 24th Jan - 26th Jan instead which is, in fact, a weekend. 

Apologies for the confusion.
Henry 

POSSIBLE YORKSHIRE TRIP - 31st JAN to 2nd FEB 2020


Haydon is thinking about organising a Yorkshire trip,...


So who would be interested in a trip to Yorkshire on 31st Jan to 2nd Feb.

Main idea would be a trip for more experienced people to try new caves gain confidence and maybe practice some rigging etc. Could be convinced to invite a few of the more confident intake from this year, if you are interested message me and I / other leaders on the trip will have a think.

Organisation will be a lot looser, people will be expected to sort out their own lifts etc. I'm happy to book a hut and some permits. But that's pretty much it.

Let me know if you are keen or if other dates are better. Or are happy to organise something

(Also apologies that invites are not open to all this year's intake, I would really like to see you all there. But it's only through having the opportunity to do more challenging caves that the various leaders get the experience to safely take you on trips). Another 'open trip' should be up shortly.

 
Haydon Saunders

YORKSHIRE, DECEMBER 2019 - PHOTO DIARY


Yorkshire. It snowed and was very picturesque. There was a sheep. No one got its name or photo consent. The sheep almost certainly didn't mind. No one cooked or ate it, but they had that as a standby plan. Never Knowingly Under-Catered.

As mentioned in the last newsletter, there was a Yorkshire trip in December. Caving was done, the group got snowed in at the hut they were staying in but as all the shovels were for Members' Use Only, they had to get inventive and dig their way out using random kitchen equipment and random oven trays. Whether they will be allowed back remains to be seem.

The Prezz (yes, Adrian, now female!) takes up the tale in photos....




Snowy walk : Henry, Mia, Sam, Imogen, Esther, Merryn, Ash, Elaine  Everyone looked cheerful but that's because they'd not yet gone caving or had to deploy kitchen equipment instead of shovels.



The team (or as much as could be crammed into one photo) underground, looking mostly clean and tidy. .This was a decorated passage just after Stake Pot: Left to right: Imogen, Kat, Jakob, Jacob, Elaine, Simon


Fall Pot: Kat is the main one you can see... Probably Jacob and Imogen above her. No one fell off and no H&S forms had to be completed, which is fortunate really.


A caption for this one didn't come through because of Faff ie the Prezz was busy working and your esteemed editor was at a conference all weekend and we ran out of time to get this to you all this morning any other way, and if we'd waited any longer we would have a) not got other stuff done and b) stressed ourselves. There's also a possible c) which is that a longer piece might be trapped in the editor's spam filter, but if so, I haven't had time to check, but if it is, we can then run it next time with a photo of an oven tray being used as a shovel in snow. If anyone has photos of that, please send them in!

We've aimed for gritty realism here, otherwise known as they were the only photos we put together in a hurry, but hey, at least they were captioned!
Elaine (who was there)
Linda (who wasn't)

 
TRIP TO THE DOUBS, FRANCE - 13th to 27th JUNE 2020


Alex Crowe recently sent an email to the UBSS email list which some of you might have seen if the list was behaving itself, but there's also a chance that it just got eaten by the spam monster or otherwise lost or mislaid, so here we go again, and over to Alex...


Good evening all,
 
As some of you already know, Jess and I are planning another trip to France this summer. We're heading to the Doubs region of France for 2 weeks in June.
 
The area is notable for spectacular stream caves and particularly long through trips.
 
We are inviting people from several caving clubs. There should be a wide range of trips available but you will need to be able to do SRT completely independently.
 
We have booked the 'Gite Speleo' for the 13th to 27th June 2020.
 
If you are interested in coming or would like more information please let us know so we can keep you informed of goings on. If you are definitely coming then a deposit of £50 is payable to me to secure your booking. This is to minimise flakeyness and last minute drop-outs and to enable us to actually plan things with some confidence (we know what you lot are like!).
 
It is possible to come for 1 week or 2 although a degree of coordination will be required to keep things sensible on the middle weekend. There are 12 bunks available in the section of the hut we currently have booked.
 
Yay caving!
Alex

For more info, or to book a place, contact Alex.

 
EXPEDITION SPONSORSHIP - HOW TO GET IT RIGHT


Captions from Dick, left to right: Sac on shoulder (1988, in Irian Jaya). Dick, heavily weighed down (990, in Uzbekistan) Colin and Tim (1991, in Mulu).

Hard on the heels of talk of trips abroad, I caught the lovely Dick Willis, one of our most experienced expedition cavers, in a weak moment and he didn't hit me with The Brick when I asked him to write something for the newsletter. What he came up with will be damn useful for anyone planning something that can reasonably be styled an expedition, and while trips to Mendip/Yorkshire/Wales etc may sometimes feel like one, you' probably need a degree in creative writing to pull off sponsorship for that, but anything else could be fair game, even surveying and book writing trips to Co Clare. so over to Dick....

Always treat your sponsors well.
 
As a result of having had my potential career destroyed after falling in with a bad lot at Bristol (Messrs Mullan, Boycott, Smart et al), I always had a shortage of cash to buy gear and I had to fall back on scrounging or upgrading cheap stuff. I still remember my first sleeping bag, purchased on a discount from Ellis Brighams at the top of Whiteladies Road – still there after all these years and will give you an automatic 10% discount if you mention Wilderness Lectures. I couldn’t afford a decent down one so I bought one that economised…

It was constructed in the usual caterpillar like segments but on one side, they were stuffed with artificial fibre and on the other side with down; at least, the manufacturer said it was down. This was great in theory – you slept on the artificial stuff, which didn’t compress and lose its insulation, whilst the down lofted nicely on your upper side. The reality was very different. Fidgeting while asleep meant that the down ended up underneath and, anyway, neither filling was good enough to keep me warm. A little UBSS ingenuity was deployed when someone in the flat threw out an old down bedspread. I cut open each compartment on the sleeping bag, stuffed it with down from the scrap bedcover and resealed the cuts with duct tape. Never, ever be without duct tape.
 
This worked for a while but in later years I got rather good at scrounging gear for expeditions. When we went to Mulu in 1980, I got a deal from a company that marketed outdoor gear. In response to my pleading letter, the boss said he’d support us and invited me and Jerry Wooldridge to a trade show at which they were exhibiting. He walked us round and invited us to choose whatever we wanted and just let him know quantities and sizes. This was like letting us loose in an Aladdin’s cave and we produced a long list of stuff, expecting to have most of it politely declined but it was all approved. Even better, when  Andy Eavis went to their warehouse in his company truck to collect the gear, the MD told him to walk around and make sure that he got everything he needed…When we got back, I phoned the MD to thank him but the firm had gone out of business. He must have known it was coming and preferred to give away gear in a good cause than see it go to the administrators.
 
The same expedition got a deal from Karrimor. Each of us was given two rucksacks, a large capacity sac and a day sac, each embroidered with a name and ‘Mulu 80’. At the time, Karrimor was offering a lifetime guarantee and, bless them, my big sac has been back to them twice for repair. I still have both sacs and they’ve been on over 20 major trips with me. One of the above photos is of me walking out after the Samarkand ’90 expedition, illustrating why my knees are knackered (made worse by caving for years in Clare without knee pads). The second photo, taken on a trip to Irian Jaya in 1988, demonstrates that manufacturers can spend a fortune on ergonomic design only to have their efforts completely ignored. That porter would have had no trouble working as a dustman in the days when you had to lift the full bin onto your shoulder to get to the lorry!
 
In 2012, I took a photo of that big sac at Mulu Park HQ and sent it to Karrimor just to say thanks. I didn’t expect anything other than an acknowledgement in return but they invited me to choose any Karrimor rucksac I wanted, so I did.
 
Through a friend, I was lucky enough to get supported by Alexandra Workwear. They provided umpteen Mulu expeditions with polycotton boilersuits in bright photogenic colours, shirts, shorts etc. On one occasion, their sales director asked me if there was anything else we needed and I asked her what else they did. “We’re a workwear company”, she replied.... We could have gone on that trip wearing business suits if we had wanted or, indeed, nurses uniforms.
 
Of course, what sponsors want is good photographic coverage and excellent reviews of their equipment. And it’s important that you make sure you take photos of sponsors’ gear early in the expedition. Strangely, the photo of Colin Boothroyd and Tim Fogg, taken after a four day trip in Clearwater in 1989, was never used by Alexandra Workwear or the people who provided us with free chocolate bars.
 
And it’s essential to let the sponsor know how well their gear performed. If you say good things, they can quote you. On the other hand, if you have to be critical, well, unless they get honest appraisals, they can’t improve their products. Our expedition to Yunnan in 1991 was supplied with Merrell boots by the importer. They were fabulously comfortable, the most comfortable boots that any of us had ever owned. Unfortunately, they had no grip whatsoever on wet surfaces and caving in them was like caving in roller-skates; it was a miracle no one got hurt. The importer was very happy to hear that they were so comfy but much less happy to hear that they were lethal.
 
So, sponsorship…
  • Ask politely, you’ve got nothing to lose but a bit of time and a stamp.
  • Take the trouble to find out the name of the MD and write personally to her/him.
  • Do a bit of research and be clear about what you want.
  • Make sure you take good photos while the gear is clean, as well as ones of it in use.
  • Write honest reviews of the gear.
  • SAY THANK YOU
  • And always carry duct tape.
Dick Willis
CAVEFEST 2020 - MENDIP



Cavng doesn't just happen in the confines of the club, wonderful though we are, so here's an advance date for your diary from the folks who run Cavefest. There'll be lots of trips on offer and it's a good way to get to know more caves and more cavers. More details will follow as plans for this firm up. There will also be posts on Facebook. Over to Neil Jackson, one of the organisers, for a few words...

CavefestUK are returning to The Mendip Hills next year for their 2020 event. We have booked the same field as the RESCON event at Ebborways farm.
 
The event dates are; 28th- 31st August 2020
 
There will be an onsite bar, food vendors, live music, competitions and displays. Arts and crafts, workshops, demonstrations and much much more.

Our invitation for the UBSS to be involved includes the offer to present something at the festival itself. Any talented artists, film makers, performers etc . are welcome to come along and make it just that little more special.
Neil Jackson
CHRISTMAS DINNER AT THE PUB


I didn't take a roll call, but, from left around the table, here we have Graham (partial head, no rude comments, please!), Nathan, Alec, Kym, Haydon (still busy sending emails to the list), Sam, Merryn, Rosie, Ash, Jan. No Whatley as he was off partying with Rouffy. Dunno where Sioned was hiding when I took this. She must have been talking to the nice bar staff.

Being suckers for punishment, an organising committee loosely consisting of Haydon and Sioned (neither of whom ran far enough and fast enough when this came up in a committee meeting) took on the task of sorting out a Xmas dinner for all.


In true UBSS fashion, epic faff followed as it transpired that OneDrive docs are shite, so a vast number of increasingly frantic emails went out on the list and Facebook messages got bandied about, winning Haydon a prize for the most emails ever sent for one event. Congratulations! However, in a very un-faffy way, Sioned managed to sort out the Eldon in Clifton and the food with relative ease.

I suck at counting, but I think about 12 of us turned up for dinner at 6.30. There were some hats, a lot of food (all ordered from the bar and very good) and some prizes, apart from the fact that I'd left the prize bag in the car and couldn't be arsed to walk back up the hill, so the actual handing out of prizes will wait until Haydon organises the handover. As I was inside several large gins by then, I've totally forgotten who got what, apart from me getting the Snark Prize, which I am immensely proud of, as it gives me officlal permission to dish out Snark, whenever and wherever it's needed. I will use my Super Power wisely, and frequently, (yes, Adrian Wilkins, I'm looking at you!!).



I had a great evening mainly chatting to Nathan and a the guy on his left with the Hat (sorry, I am crap at remembering names!!) about genre TV shows Nathan's worked on (Jan Walker and I have something in common with him, which was brilliant. He worked on Season 3 of Primeval and we are huge fans of the show and know some of the same people, so it was the smallest of small world moments!).

We all left before a band started up in the corner. No surprises there. They might have been good, but more drinking beckoned for some and an early(ish) night for others.

Many thanks to the organisers and everyone who came along!

And as a Secret Santa didn't get organised due to faff, Mia is running one now. If you're on Facebook or otherwise got involved, Do as You're Told, Mia is in charge.
NEW YEAR'S EVE DINNER AT THE HUT


It didn't snow at New Year, This is just for artistic effect and because Liz Green kindly sent me this piccie and I really like it.

The New Year's Eve dinner is the longest unbroken tradition in the society going right back to the beginning in 1919 when the Hut was erected in a snowstorm, which is why the tilt of the roof is still crooked, or so the story goes. It's probably true, as about 100 years is our par time for building works...

Due to the Lurgy from Hell that's been doing the rounds, we were reduced in number but not in enthusiasm. A turkey dinner and all the trimmings was cooked (some of it in Bristol, some at the hut) and we scoffed it like food was going out of fashion. Naturally, in best poncey restaurant review style, I photographed the food for posterity and took a few other snaps.


Dinner, I like sprouts. Don't judge me.

We were all knackered and mostly ill and didn't stay beyond midnight, but here is a quick run down of the evening:

It started with arrival, booze and Take the Piss out of Adrian for not reading his newsletters properly and not knowing that the dinner was happening and that Elaine had Replaced Bob as President at the AGM. We impressed on him that even skim reading might impart useful information. Cue much snarking from your ever-harassed editor.

The was the usual moan from Her Up at The Farm about gates being open, but it's hard to go in and out through a closed gate, so after Chris and Galya exchanged the customary pleasantries with her, it was business as usual.

We decided not to use 5 gallons of water to fill the tank just for a bowl of washing up, so just ran the fire and the radiator under the bunks. I was toasty warm, other people were nesh wimps (Helen, I'm looking at you!) and complained about the cold. I said they were all sounding like Dickon and should person-up or wear more clothes. I was deemed to be Unsympathetic.


Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

I learned that putting your feet on the radiator under the seat is Very Nice. Other people then followed suit.

I also learned that trying to put too much wood on the fire is A Thing. I tried to impress on people that flames do not equal heat output. Most people didn't listen. I sighed heavily and snarked. The fire is great, but it doesn't need a fuck-ton of wood. Haydon has done a long explanation of the system which will be available via a weblink to users in future, but for now I think we can sum it up as don't use too much wood and make sure boiling water isn't spurting out of the shower as that is A Bad Thing.

Barney the Dog brought Adrian along for the evening. Those of you who met him a few years ago when Adrian hadn't had him long would be amazed by his transformation. He's gone from being a terrified creature who humans had rarely been kind to a happy, confident dog who mixes well and is lovely to have around (OK, who expects me to he rude about Adrian now? Hands up..... Nope, not going to rise to that challenge as it would be way too predictable!). It shows what can be done with love and patience. The pair of them adore each other and as a dog lover it gives me the warm fuzzies to see a dog taken from the what amounted to Death Row to a happy, obedient much loved companion. (This is now the point at which Dick Willis would have swooped in and sent me recipes for dog from his China days, but now he's totally owned by an adorable lurcher called Brillo, I know that won't happen. No, Dick, that's not a challenge and there will be no prizes for dog recipes.)

We performed the rituals with enthusiasm, and the sneezing was all too real. We remembered as many people as we could. Maybe next year we need A List. I will try to write the rituals up for a later newsletter, but for now, suffice it to say that it's some serious Weird Shit, but without it the sun might not rise the next day.

Present were: me, Graham, Helen, Richard, Galya, Chris, Clive, Wanda, Adrian and Barney.

And while I was writing this entry, Galya emailed me with a short video of the evening, starting with some footage of a tidy hut (who knew that was even A Thing?), the new fire, men laying the table, women lounging by the fire, Barney being adorable etc. I'm the one in the very silly blue hat. In my defence, it was a) a present b) warm c) damn useful every time I went for a pee as the light is integral and all I had to do was press a button for light to appear.
 
UBSS New Year at the Hut 2019-2020
Thanks to everyone who catered and came along! In particular, thanks to Aunt Bessie who did the roast spuds. She's not a caver, but we hope to enrol her next year.
Linda Wilson
CAVING UNDER THE BRIDGE


No, not the Suspension Bridge. This one's a bit further away. Jan Walker recently got the chance to do some caving on a trip home to Texas.

The Natural Bridge Caverns were discovered on March 27, 1960. The name comes from the 60 foot natural limestone slab bridge that spans the entrance to the cavern. The cave temperature is a year-round 22C with a humidity of 99%. The deepest part of the public tour is 180 feet below the surface, though group tours of wild caving are done to depths of about 230 feet.

I had the great opportunity to go on the Discovery Adventure Tour, the wild caving that splits off from the regular Discovery public tour and goes below for some down and dirty (literally!) scrambling. We travelled down the public pathway through the main part of the cave on the Discovery side, and then went over (or through, in some cases) the railing and down into the depths.

It was fascinating, fun, and very muddy! We started off pristine, and finished off mud from head to toe. Going through, we climbed a mudslide, passed through the bat-guano cave where centuries of bats used to nest, made our way through the Passage of Lost Boots (where the mud was 18 inches deep and very glutinous!), through the crawls and out into a cavern at the end where we turned our lights off and sat in complete darkness for a few minutes. It was fascinating how sounds became much richer when there was no sight at all.


Jan's the one with the proper gear - and the mud.

We then returned by the same route we'd taken out, this time getting a chance to see the fossil wall where there were dozens of ammonites, and the pit where some 5,000-year-old bear bones were found. I also managed to lose my balance a bit and squish my gloved hand into 5 inches of ancient bat guano. Yum. After that, we slid back down the same mudslide we'd scrambled up, managing to gather up even more mud in even more awkward places!


Every cave should have a formation that looks like a llama. Why haven't we got one in Goatchurch?

It's not a difficult trip for an experienced caver, but for someone who just wants to see something new and beautiful, it's a great fun trip. The guides were experienced, informative, and very helpful.
 
Jan Walker
SHUTE SHELVE CAVERN - TRIP REPORT


Shute Shelve Cavern, photo courtesy of Paul Willman of the Mendip Cave Registry and Archive.

One of the field trips after the Symposium was Mendip's Shute Shelve Cavern. Liz Green has kindly written this one up for us. This is a good cave for a visit once bat hibernation season ends.

As with many caves, finding Shute Shelve Cavern is harder than exploring it!  On the Sunday of the UBSS Symposium the hardy few met Alan Gray of Axbridge Caving Group (ACG) who had offered to lead a trip. We crossed over to the National Trust site on which the entrance is situated, in pleasant sunshine, and wandered through the woods looking for the right hole. Maybe we should first have read the description in Mendip Underground?

Alan unlocked and we headed down the entrance passage in a caterpillar-like fashion, as it’s a bit low in places – not a squeeze, more of a slither with plenty of room – but unfortunately one of the party, to his surprise, became claustrophobic and could not be talked down to the first chamber.  After this it’s plain sailing, room to stand upright as you pick your way over boulders, avoiding the horseshoe bats and taped off cryogenic calcite crystals looking like snow, respectively above and below you. Gina Moseley, our other guide, is researching the cryogenic calcite and talked to us about that. 

Alan showed us where he and ACG had been digging as we reached the end of the easily accessible sections of this interesting ochre mine.  We retraced our steps, the final ascent seemed much easier than the descent and soon we were sitting among ferns and dried leaves, relaxing in the sunshine.  Thank you Alan.
Liz Green
MUSEUM NEWS - CONDEMNED!



OK, this sounds more alarming than it is, but as I had a big shock, I cruelly wanted to inflict it on everyone else as well, but I could have done without the news, three days before the Symposium, that the staircase in the Stables had been condemned as being potentially unsafe. Please read on...

The very short version of a long series of emails, meetings etc is that the staircase needs to be replaced.The good news is that Estates have a plan for a new set of stairs and the hope is that they'll go in the same footprint as the current ones, with some modifications. There will be a load more site meetings and talks to get us where we want/need to be, but I can't emphasise too highly that everyone in the uni has been brilliant about this and have really worked hard to accommodate our needs etc.

In return, we need to make sure that we play like nice puppies and respect the reasonable Health and Safety requirements in the meantime. The short version of a long Risk Assessment that I've not finished writing yet is ONLY TONY BOYCOTT AND I ARE ALLOWED UPSTAIRS FOR NOW. Sorry for shouting, but that bit was important. The meeting about this was funny, as I kept hearing 'Loan Working' and wondering why I needed an H&S policy for museum loans, only to realise that they meant 'Lone Working' as in being upstairs by yourself! The discussion became a bit easier once that became clear.

I will need to decommission part of the display area downstairs to accommodate the works as we will need to move big stuff into the committee room, which will in turn mean that's not available for use. The heavy lifting will be done by uni contractors but I will have to decommission and recommission the displays and some help with that would be really appreciated. Nathan has already volunteered, but the more the merrier, please. Any willing volunteers, please drop me and email!

I don't know the timescale yet, but nor does anyone else. Once I know, I'll tell people. We'll have to be flexiblle, but with that in mind, I'm as sure as I can be that it'll all work out fine, eventually. And by now, I think we have a proper No Admittance notice in place courtesy of Estates, rather than my emergency bodge job.

I know the natural reaction to a lot of this will be 'it's all safety gone mad', but trust me, it isn't. I've lived with those stairs for years and they are a pain to manage when I have a building full of researchers as I had last autumn. So I'm pleading with you all to take this as seriously as we do underground H&S and all will be fine. For anyone who doesn't play like nice puppies I will dispense a Paddington Bear Hard Stare and deploy the UBSS Brick. Or I'll get Haydon to shout at people and deploy Kettles. Ask Haydon why...

Huge thanks to Tendy Mwarewangepo in H&S, Stu Bellamy (the Site Safety Advisor in Geography (who once shared a flat with UBSS member Simon Grace!!), Darren Buss in Estates, the wonderful Richard Baker in the Estates Assistants office in 21 Woodland Road and the ever-unflappable David Richards for all their help so far with this!
Linda Wilson
OVER AND OUT.....

That's all for this issue, folks! If you've read to the end, you're also eligible for A Prize. You know the drill, contact me if you'd like to claim one. No, Adrian, that doesn't apply to you, you're still on the Naughty Step from last week. I can't be bribed just with parsnips, mince pies and lovely dogs. Or maybe I can...

I'm all out of time and brainpower for this issue but there is stuff in hand for next time, so please don't be offended if material hasn't been used in this issue. As ever, please keep contributions coming. Levels of snark and capitalisation might, or might not, return to bearable levels next issue.
Linda